What the &*%%
“Failure is instructive.
The person who really thinks, learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.”
― John Dewey
I just went in for a cup of coffee
"Didn't we agree that baked beans for breakfast upsets your belly?"
Don't tell me that the sculptors cheque has bounced again.
The audience brought the house down?
Who moved the river bank?
I went to the local store and this guy attacked me with rocks
Exactly which one is your power cable
Wonky
Possibly some bricks taken home by the bricklayer, to build a chicken coop in the back garden?
Phew .... Just made it across
This is the thong tree - but could have a different
​meaning in different countries.     - Echuca Australia 
The sign says "Keep hands clear".  It says nothing about head and shoulders.
Honestly, all I did was try to knock in a nail to hang a picture!
How can they say "No Stopping" when they have nailed my shoe to the pole? - Newtown, Sydney
Was it cheaper to bring in the rock than it was to tow the wreck away.
According to the bible, Lot's wife looked back, and was turned to a pillar of salt.  What was his sin?
Now why didn't I think of that.
Perhaps a 'second hand sale'
Should have known not to get a cake decorator to design a building!!!
The local pub put up their beer prices so the team went home.
I wish that I could say something but nobody will hear. 
Perhaps because I have no body.
​Just too tired to call out?
Tyrants come in all sizes
Oh Sh#t.  I left my phone at home and must go down to fetch it!
Now I know why I can't get a decent nights sleep
Are you joking?  Must I really wait until the dinner service is over before I can get my car out of the car park?
Don't stick your butt out at me!
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